“There’s a time for us, a time and place for us.”
I really hate being a girl.
Growing up as a boy has got to be easier. Friendships then don’t serve as fodder for drama, and heartache, as they SO often do for girls. I don’t understand how you can literally bend over backwards for a person when it seems difficult for them to even be nice to you, to talk to you, in return.
And I’m not just talking about me. I literally see things like this EVERY day. We cause each other more pain than anything else, even though we are the ones meant to console one another. That’s a bitter bite out of irony I don’t really care for.
I guess I could bitch about people like that and look for reasons behind it, but I spend hours everyday accusing them. Now I’ll shoulder some of the blame. These are creatures of habit, and they, or more specifically she, has obviously learned that I’m the type of person to put up with bullshit like that so I’m the one she unleashes it on.
But no more.
I refuse to stand for it any longer. I don’t care how long we’ve been friends and I don’t care how long it takes or even how much it will suck. It’s crap. Those aren’t friends. Those are the people you’re meant to RUN from if they’ve got the capacity to treat you like that, and if you’ve stuck with it for years like I have, I won’t say you deserve it because not a soul in this world does but you can’t be surprised when it happens.
This world is full of indecency like that and we can gripe and let it win or we can fight it. The strongest are those who have shoveled through the bullshit and have risen above it and I don’t know if that’s innate or if it’s learned, but I hope it’s the latter because at least then there’s hope.
And boy oh boy, I wish I had a backbone. Even now, I chose a passive aggressive outlet to confront something I should probably be shouting from rooftops. Old habits, I guess?
It’s such a beautiful day up here at Endicott! It may be early, but I do hope the weather stays this nice from now on. I’m so sick of the cold.
People are in such good moods today, it’s heartwarming! What a refreshing change. Spring break may have ended, but I’m not mad that I’m back.
It is remarkable how you can quite literally bend over backwards for someone, and it still isn’t enough. They search for reasons to hate you, and tell that to everyone they see. Do you REALLY think that if you talk about me behind my back like you do everyday, it won’t get back to me?
What kind of candy-coated world do you live in where you live above the rules?
You are sitting there wearing my CLOTHES, “hating” me. You can take a step back, bitch, because things are going to get ugly.
I had SUCH a great day today! I hope you can all say the same. I got roses from a friend, a bunch of cards from others, and packages from my aunt and my mom. And everyone is just so happy! I wish everyday could be like this.
In addition, my friend and I started a Relay For Life team at school and in one day, we raised half the amount of money we set out to raise in four months! Now THAT is miraculous. Charities like this, and generosity like that, restore my faith in people.
